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Great funny one liners

WebOct 7, 2024 · I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off! Money talks. Mine always says goodbye. I went to see the doctor about my short-term … 1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 2. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 3. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. 5. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but … See more 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 22. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. 23. Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you … See more 41. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense. 42. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. … See more 81. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres. 82. Fighting for peaceis like screwing for virginity. 83. A ghost walked into a … See more 61. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. 62. The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP. 63. Despite the high cost of living, it … See more

1003 Best Puns - The funniest puns - OneLineFun.com

WebAccess full book title 5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker. Download full books in PDF and EPUB format. By : Grant Tucker; 2012-09-25; Reference; 5,000 Great One Liners. ... Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more. More One Liners, Jokes and Gags … WebWork one liners. I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. One liner tags: life, time, work. 83.12 % / 1376 votes. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too. One liner tags: car, sarcastic, time, travel ... chinese takeout on route 34 nj https://lomacotordental.com

4653 Funny One Liners - Funniest Short Jokes - OneLineFun.com

Web2 days ago · Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One Liners and Clean Chees at the best … WebFeb 22, 2024 · The best jokes are those that don't take so much time to say. Short and sweet. The best one liners are those that say so much with just a simple line. You can … WebAug 21, 2024 · 01 of 24 Did Not See That Coming Via Getty Images/EvanKafka. "Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted. The boy screams. 'I knew it! I wanna see … chinese takeout new city ny

101 Funny One-Liners — Best One-Liner Jokes - Parade

Category:59 Funny and Witty Oneliners - BrandonGaille.com

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Great funny one liners

Are these the greatest comedy one-liners ever told? - BBC

WebAug 22, 2024 · Best One Liners 😂 The Best 1 Line Jokes of All-Time. Our list of the best one line jokes of all time are curated by the bunch of comedians that make up the ADDucation team. However you can have your say by … WebJan 6, 2024 · Short one-liners that are actually funny. I wanted to take a bath, but then decided to leave it where it is. I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy. I try …

Great funny one liners

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WebFeb 2, 2024 · Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringy- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. WebDec 30, 2013 · The following series of witty one liners are great phrases to remember so you can share them along to others. People who laugh tend to required less pain …

WebJun 1, 2024 · 2. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." The Princess Bride (1987) -Inigo Montoya ( Mandy Patinkin) to Vizzini ( Wallace Shawn) after he utters "inconceivable" one too many times. And when you want to add to your movie collection, start with these 37 Movies Every Man Over 40 Should Be Able to Quote. 3. WebAbsolutely hilarious one liners! The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. See TOP 10 witty one-liners.

WebJan 12, 2024 · 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." —Joan Rivers. 5. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never ... WebJul 23, 2024 · Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright, too. Funny one-liners take a sophisticated observation about life or language and reframe it as a slyly “dumb” joke whose full comic power hits only after your brain unpacks it. They’re also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids.

WebFeb 3, 2024 · Explanation: “Drei”—pronounced “dry”—is German for “three.” “Nein”—pronounced “nine”—is German for “No.” “Dieser witz stinkt” is German for “This joke stinks ...

WebAug 29, 2014 · Here are 20 classic one-liners: Woody Allen: “Having sex is like bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”. Steven Wright: “I think it’s wrong that only ... chinese take out orlandoWebJul 29, 2024 · One said: ‘Oo, oo, aah.’ The other replied:‘Put some cold in then.” – Harry Hill My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange?” I said: “No it doesn’t!” “You know the … chinese take out onlineWebJul 8, 2024 · Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the … grandview wind farmWebJun 29, 2024 · Stewart Francis is a master of the one-liner “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” – Jack Whitehall “‘What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum.... grandview west virginia historical weatherWebAug 12, 2024 · The Big Lebowski. 10. “This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”. This one isn't "better" than The Godfather's lines, it's just number 10 because it's different, it's unique, and it's also perfectly stupid for this stupidly perfect movie. chinese take out new port richeyWebMar 4, 2024 · As such, we’ve curated some of the most rib-cracking one-liner jokes for your entertainment/ So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride! ... one liners 1950's one liners 2 … grandview wic officeWebJun 29, 2024 · Best jokes from comedians “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” – Tim Vine “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the... chinese takeout near hickory hills il